Official So Many Roads Website

http://somanyroadstour.org

Sunset

A painting done in loving memory of Anthony Porcelli. By Mackenzie Swecker and her mom Teddy.

Two years ago today my younger brother Anthony committed suicide. I miss him with each passing day and cherish all of moments that I shared with such a special person. Not only was Anthony my best friend but he has become the greatest teacher in my life. In honor of my brother I created the "So Many Roads Tour", a ride to promote life. June 1st, 2012 I will begin my cycling journey from Portla...nd, OR to Portland, ME with a group of my friends. Along the way we will be meeting up with Survivors of Suicide Groups(SOS) and Suicide Prevention Groups. I will be sharing my brother's story along with my story of surviving the death of my loved one to suicide. Yes this ride is a fundraiser but the ultimate goal is to create hope and to inspire those we meet to LIVE life in the most positive and conscious way they can. Later this month we will announce the organizations we will be raising money for along with our website. I hope that you all will join us on our ride. For today I will leave you with this.

"To have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -Rainer Maria Rilke

You are alive and there is much work to be done! Get to work!!! I love you Anthony and thank you for giving me my life. I know you are with me every second, of every day.

We miss you!

For every suicide survivor, there is one day a year that is especially hard; the day they lost their loved one to suicide. This is an anniversary celebrated only in tears and private moments of reflection. Today is February 3rd, 2012; two years to the day that we lost our Anthony.
Anthony Arik Porcelli was only 21 years old when he lost his life. The words to describe his life do not really exist, because none of them sum up the beauty of his unique soul. I could tell you about all the wonderful things that he did, the way he made people laugh, the way he loved; but you will still never understand the loss that we feel. As I can never fully understand the loss of someone I have never known. I wish you could have known Anthony!
The unbearable reality is that it did not have to turn out this way. But with all loss, acceptance is crucial. We cannot stay in a state of misery forever. There is one thing that I am sure, Anthony never wanted to create such devastating feelings for the one's he loved. As I start out another day without my friend, I take it upon myself to smile at everyone I see and open my heart to a stranger. I do not know the struggles of others, but I will do my best to ease the weight on their shoulders today.