Anthony
Its been 3yrs this month and not a day goes by you are not in my thoughts. In the last 3yrs, I've seen a lot of sadness, at the same time I've seen a lot of amazing things happen. Raimee Arik and Kynslee were born. Now got Ridge on his way and Liam will be here June 3rd. Those are some amazing gifts. You would think that after 3yrs I would be able to find the words to say to you other than I love u and ooo how I miss you. Even though this time has gone by, my heart still aches and is broken. I once told all of you how this family dont work with out each other. Well it dont, you can definitely feel the difference without your presence. Anthony you definitely brang so much joy to my life and to try to sum you up in words, well anyone who knew you knows there's not enough I could ever say about you. Ever since you have been gone I feel like I cant catch my breath. Its almost like im searching for the next one to come. Its true how things in your life change so much. The way you look at things and appreciate it so much more. Things for me, well lets just say im a work in progress. Sleeping dont come easily anymore. I really haven't found the concept of shuting my brain down. I wish I could hold you and smell your cologne. You always smelt so good. Its amazing the things I remember about you. It brings lots of smiles but also lots of tears. Sometimes I feel like a water faucet and I can't shut it off. Sometimes, well most times, I have to swallow so hard to keep the tears down. I just have so much to say to you;  most of all, I just cant wait to hold you again and tell you face to face how much I love you. I look at this picture of you and I hope that when you see me that's what I come home to, big open arms waiting for me. I love u and miss you so deeply. mom